Indulgent Exceptions

Noah has missed having his buddy, Etrick, around. He and his family moved to D.C. this past summer. For the past two months the rumors of Etrick making a two week visit in January stirred dreams of possibilities for Noah. Sadly, Etrick came and spent his first few days with another mutual friend. This other boy enjoyed sharing the details of his visit with Etrick while making it impossible for Noah to join in their fun. As a mom, this broke my heart. Noah tried to be so positive and hopeful as he defended his friend's right to play alone with Etrick. As a mother, I wasn't so understanding. After two days of being unsuccessful at trying to get Noah hooked up with the mighty duo, I called Etrick's mom. She was happy to allow Etrick a private visit with Noah and suggested Wednesday after school.

Wednesday, Etrick called and while sobbing apologized that he couldn't come after all because he'd been grounded for wetting his pants in the car. Realizing the difficulty his admission to me must have been and knowing Noah would be heart-broken, I asked to speak to his mom. She was flustered after a long drive from Logan. They had been behind schedule and Etrick had tried to "hold it" so he could get to our house as quickly as possible. Bless his heart. I suggested he come, and I could loan him some clean clothes and provided a personal experience of Ray's to ease her own feelings of frustration and humiliation. She agreed to let him come. We also worked it out so he could spend the night and allow the two boys to play all day on Thursday.

When my intelligent daughters learned of the plan they inquired about what Etrick would do while Noah went to school. I felt like a cool mom as I simply stated Noah would stay home from school to be with his best friend since it was an unusual circumstance and I would make the same allowance for them in a similar situation. I braced myself for dramatic rebellion to unfold. To my surprise, however, the girls expressed their enthusiasm for Noah to have this special visit with his friend. My children continue to amaze me.

Perhaps some would argue that to allow a child to skip school for a play date is an indulgence and a lack of respect for education. They would be entitled to their opinions. Lucky for me my husband isn't one of those. When he asked me if Noah would be missing school to play and I said, "Yes," he said, "OK, good to know."