Communication 101

Monday, the 22nd, Elizabeth had an orthodontist appointment that required me to get her out of school a bit early. I also had to prove to the office that we had paid for a band music book and see about getting a refund for the flute we'd rented and then returned because it didn't work. Trying to optimize my time and since I am not suppose to be out doing errands, I thought I'd go a little early and try to get everything done at once.

My first stop was the attendance office. I walk slowly. I am in a lot of pain too and so I'm sure that the office secretary took her first glance at me hoping I'd disappear so as to not have a baby in her office and mess up the carpet. I get it...first reactions are important, nevertheless, I waddled right up to her demanding her attention using my most polite voice and a smile. I asked her how to appropriately get my daughter out of class, since I am new to being a parent of a Jr. High student and this school. Without lifting her head to sneak a peak at my hideous state she shrugged a gesture towards the boy and girl students sitting down along a table from her. I am a college graduate so I inferred that I was to ask them. I repeated my question to them although I am pretty sure that they had heard me since we were the only ones in the office with only 3 feet separating us. I did not receive any verbal nor non-verbal replies so I sweetly informed them of my daughters name, grade, and the class I believed her to be in. The boy and girl began to debate something involving how many female teachers were employed by the school...and yet the boy seemed to be looking at some list of names. I remained patient. I still noticed that the one adult in the room still tried to look as if she was intently busy and couldn't possibly help me out...After the young man had turned four pages, he turned to the girl and said, "She's on your list." The girl began to flip through her pages, found my daughter's name and called the classroom. Wow, I thought, easy as a breeze...and it only took me 15 minutes...and I still have to face the finance secretary. I told the two helpful students that I would be across the hall in the other office so they could tell my daughter when she showed up. They seemed happy to help.

I entered the other office with more trepidation than I'd had in the attendance office. My prior experience with the finance secretary was disturbing and after comparing my experience with other flabbergasted mothers, knew I was in for another tidal wave of trouble. She of course, frowned with a similar disgust, as did the first secretary, when she saw me approaching. I think perhaps my presence might cause the principal to send out one more liability waiver home with students stating that the school is not required in any way to assist a pregnant woman. :)

I took a deep breath, smiled, and showed to her the receipt that she herself had given to me showing I had paid for a band book. I asked her if she could look up the "master receipt list" to verify if my daughter's name was on the list. Her face immediately tensed to purple and she defensively stated that I had proof of payment in my receipt. "Yes," I answered, "I do, but the band teacher doesn't seem to have his proof, and could we please check the list?" We bantered for several minutes. She kept saying that I had a receipt, and I in turn agreed and yet asked her to please have her receipt show the proof that my receipt existed so the band teacher would have an official list with my daughter's name on it to convince him that I had paid. I felt like I was looking up at her from the bottom of the ocean trying to speak and yet not able to. I was staring at the ONLY person in the entire school who has the ability to make financial transactions and she wasn't going to help me. Perhaps the mother bear in me surfaced, or the hormones, or the pain, or just the need for this woman to stop saying that I have a receipt, I don't know, but I lost it a little and blurted out my frustrations in dealing with a rude woman who should get on board with her colleagues to work out a better system to communicate. I for one did not understand how a band teacher tells my daughter that he'd gone to the office several times to double, triple, ..., check to see if her name was on the list. My daughter comes home crying to me. I come to the school to show my proof and all I get is an answer of , "Yes, your receipt shows you paid." Does anyone else see the insanity of this?

Finally, the woman turns on her computer. She finds "the List," and scans it for my daughter's name. She supposedly finds it, says some nasty things about the band teacher, and gloats that she did not make the error. Again, I'm thinking, "What error, I just want to see if we're on the List," but I keep my mouth shut. Instead, ,I say, "Thank you so much! Would you please print out that page for me and I will give it to my daughter to take it with her to band and then everyone will be at peace." She cirlces the name, too far away for me to see it, and throws the paper at me. My daughter hadn't shown up and I didn't need to hang around for a potential new round of impossible debate about the flute rebate, so I fled the office.

I nearly knocked over my daughter's counselor as I entered the hall way. Tears were beginning to flow--my body's way of immediately releasing stress. My daughter questioned me about my disposition in a loving way as her counselor began to scold me for allowing my daughter to wander the halls unsupervised and to not let it happen again, and why was I out of bed anyway? Restraining myself from unleashing an unkind reply, I put my arm around her, kept my eyes focused on the exit door, and bolted, in my best waddling way.

Being outside never felt so good until I gave my daughter "the List" so she could give it to her band teacher. She being extremely bright glanced at the circled name and asked, "Who is Chloe?" My flood gates immediately unleashed as I realized I'd have to do this all over again another day. And, we still had to go to the orthodontist.